Was It a Cult? Understanding the Signs of Coercive Religious Control
Naming What You’ve Been Through
One of the most disorienting parts of leaving a high-control religious group is not knowing what to call your experience. Maybe the word “cult” feels too extreme. Maybe it feels too painful. Maybe you were told repeatedly that questioning your community meant you were being deceived—or even possessed. But what if the unease you're feeling is actually your body trying to tell the truth?
Cult dynamics aren’t always obvious from the outside. They don’t all involve bunkers or matching clothes or doomsday prophecies. Sometimes they look like loving communities with tight-knit bonds. Sometimes they look like families or churches with charismatic leaders and rigid hierarchies. What they often have in common is a subtle and sustained erosion of your agency.
Signs of Coercive Control
Here are a few common markers that might indicate a group was operating with cult-like or coercive control:
Authoritarian leadership: One or a few individuals hold unquestioned authority over the group
Us vs. them thinking: You were taught that outsiders are dangerous or deceived
Fear-based obedience: Non-compliance led to shame, exile, or spiritual threats
Suppression of individuality: Your doubts, questions, or identity were unwelcome
Isolation: Leaving meant losing community, family, or your sense of belonging
If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and you're not dramatic. Survivors of high-demand religious systems often second-guess themselves because they've been trained to do so.
How It Affects the Body
Religious trauma doesn’t just live in the mind—it settles into the body. Clients I work with often describe chronic anxiety, dissociation, hypervigilance, or a lingering fear of “getting it wrong.” These are not personality flaws. They are trauma responses.
In cultic or coercive systems, your nervous system learns to stay alert at all times. You may have felt like safety depended on compliance. You may have lost touch with your inner voice, instincts, or even your ability to trust joy. All of this is valid. And it can be healed.
Reclaiming Your Story
Leaving a high-control group is not the end of your story—it’s the beginning of reclaiming it. As a therapist who works with religious trauma and spiritual abuse, I believe your story is worth telling in full. Not just the harm, but the resilience. Not just the fear, but the fierce clarity you now carry.
Therapy can help you:
Rebuild trust with your body and your intuition
Make sense of confusing or painful memories
Grieve what you lost and name what you still need
Explore spirituality on your own terms—if you want to
Create safety, agency, and freedom in the present
You don’t have to figure this out alone. Whether or not the word “cult” fits for you, what matters most is honoring your experience and healing in a way that’s grounded, compassionate, and led by your voice. Let’s get started.